mbm - exponentially increased faith

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 Read this post first, if you haven't already and don't know about Eric's job loss.

What I am about to share with you is overdue, but it has honestly taken me this long to process it all. This is the story of two unsuspecting people, one significant life situation, and one very big very loving God.

Eric has a job.

But not just any job that had to take to make ends meet. He has a job that he is planning his career around, that exceeds our financial needs, that he loves more than me and bacon on most days, that is owned and operated by Christian men, and the list could s-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y go on. Let me break it down for you this way (bear in mind the state of our economy and the fact that many many many people in the US have downgraded from career-search, to job-search, to whateverpaysthebills-search)

- Eric was "unemployed" for approximately 3 weeks.
- I say "unemployed" because our church hired him to do odd jobs the day after he was fired.
- In the span of those 3 short weeks he had 5 interviews.
- He had not one but 2 job offers.
- Both were for significantly more salary than his previous job.
- Our bank account didn't dwindle away or even stay the same during his unemployment, it grew.
- The company (Merge) that he decided on is absolutely amazing and I have never seen my husband happier.
- Did I mention that this company sought him out?
- Oh and that he was hired the week of Christmas?
- Ohhhh yeah and that this company's first mission statement is, and I quote,

"We exist to glorify God. We believe God is above all else and is worthy of all praise and can and should be glorified through work. We believe He is the reason Merge exists, is sustained, and prospers."

Ummmm, hello? I just don't know how any one in the entire world could EVER chalk each and every one of those bullet points up to "fate" or "the universes aligning" or whatever other cop outs reasons people come up with to deny the one true living God!

Our God is big!

He is gracious!

He is a provider!

He is able to do exceedingly abudantly above our wildest imaginations!

He takes care of his children in their times of need!

I am still in shock. And you may not believe this next part, but I won't lie to you I promise. 

I never once panicked. Ok, for about an hour after Eric called me with the bad news I did, but during the rest of the three weeks I didn't. I had this insane peace (you know, the one that passes all understanding?) the whole time. (I can't speak for my darling husband on this, however.) I always knew God would come through, that he would provide. That doesn't mean I wasn't worried or afraid at times, but it does mean that I was willing and ready to give him the glory from day one and now I CAN! I just didn't know he would show up in such a miraculous way. 

Friends, I hope our story can impact/encourage you the way it did for us. If HE is for us WHO could be against us?

memorial box monday - the great provider

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What I am about to share is fairly personal, but you should know I have the permission of my darling husband to do so.

December 1st around 5:15 PM I got a call from Eric, which I promptly ignored because I was in a tutoring session. He immediately called again, which I thought strange because he knows my schedule and should have known where I was. I quickly sent him a text saying "tutoring." He replied "I know, it's kinda important..."

It was the "..." that tipped me off. My husband (like most men I'm sure) is a get to the point guy. He lays the facts out on the table in a quick and concise manner. He does not "..." or leave things to the imagination. I immediately knew something was wrong. I excused myself from my student to call him. He relayed the imminent bad news in the only way he knew how, like ripping off a bandaid he said "I was just fired."

Words eluded me. Emotions excaped me. All I felt was numbness. You know that pit-in-your-stomach feeling? Yup, had that too. You may recall this post, where I regaled you with tales of how God prompted me to leave my full-time teaching position in hopes of starting a family? So picture us, living frugally on 1.5 incomes over a year later with no expansion to our family save a lab/collie mix, just getting the news that less than a month before Christmas 3/4 of our income has vanished.

We did what any couple in our situation would do. We cried out to the Lord. And He has answered. No, Eric didn't miraculously get an even better job the next day (not that God can't do that) but He has sincerely shown us the love of Christ through his people. Our church has stepped up in ways we never could have imagined to support us during this time. God is good.

But, even with all the support we getting and the prayer uplifting us, I was still worried about us financially. You see he was let go at a time where his next check would only have 3 days of work on it. He filed for unemployment and we held our breath. I checked the bank account on Friday to see if unemployment had gone through. I just stared at the screen in disbelief. I thought "either it went through or it's a Christmas miracle!" Neither. It was a deposit of a substantial amount from his old company.

Guess what our God did?

When I showed Eric the amount and where it was from he was just as perplexed as I was. Until a revelation hit him...he had gotten paid for his unused vacation days! Now you might being saying "duh, you should have known that was coming!" we didn't. It never crossed our minds once. You see, to say the company he worked for was frugal is the understatement of the year so we never imagined in our wildest dreams they would pay him for his vacation days. And the best news? The amount was more than what his normal check would have been!

Praise God! He is good all the time!!!

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;" - 2 Corinthians 9:8

memorial box monday - gaby

It's time to link up with Linny for another...

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I have been posting a lot more than usual about our battle with infertility, but I have neglected to share with you guys one of the biggest ways God has shown up in my life.

Her name is Gaby.

I met Gaby 2 years ago, my first year teaching. It was her first year at the high school we both taught at. She taught Spanish and I taught Math. We were both high school teachers with dark skin and hair and that, to me, seemed to be the end of our similarities. Then one day Gaby and I were paired together on field trip for the seniors and we sat next to each other for the 10 minute bus ride it took for us to get to the college we were visiting.

I should mention that only a month before that I was diagnosed with PCOS and basically told that our year of trying to conceive without success made us an infertile couple.The only person I had confided in up to that point had been my husband. He hadn't started the grieving process like I had yet, so I basically felt like I was walking this road alone. (I do want to say he is very supportive now, men just take a little longer for things to hit home ;) )

So Gaby and I started to get to know each other on that bus. The usual things like where we were from (she is from Ecuador by the way, how cool is that?) and what our husbands did (her's is a pastor; so I immediately knew she was a Christian). We talked about our faith and I thought "God how great you are to have placed an awesome Christian woman and fellow teacher into my life."

Oh how little did I know of his awesomeness.

Slowly the conversation turned to more serious things. I learned that Gaby had two gorgeous and adopted children! Now, picture me, no longer naive about the ease of growing a family the old fashioned way learning that this new friend had no biological children. I needed to know more, and she was ready and willing to share. I spilled my guts about all that I was afraid of, and she listened like what I was saying mattered.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" - Romans 12:15

Over the next few months Gaby unfolded her and her husband's 10+ years of marriage, infertility, failed IUIs, and adoption. She has taught me more than I can communicate about what the definition of a Christian, a woman, and mom are. She has seen me at my lowest while in the midst of fertility treatments and rejoiced with me over our decision to adopt! I can honestly say I don't know what I would have done without her.

God put my friend Gaby in my life at the time I needed her most, and I didn't even know it. I look back now at all the heartache we were experiencing and saw how Gaby hurt for us, because she had hurt the same way with her husband years before. I look back and see a woman of God who knew how to talk to and pray with a friend who was walking a similar path.

Most importantly, Gaby has shown me that an adoptive parent is no less a parent than those who have biological children. I have always had a heart for the orphan, but Gaby continually confirmed God's will for our lives concerning adoption. I can truly attest to the fact that there is a bond between her and her children that would rival most biological moms.

Oh how big and mighty and wonderful our God is. How he loves us! I am forever thankful to him for my dear friend Gaby. I love to look back on times where I couldn't see his plan, only to view the big picture months or years later with the most thankful heart.

So, in my virtual memorial box will go a cup from Starbucks (where we have a fair amount of our conversations) and a little school bus.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

memorial box monday - wedding photography

It's time to link up with Linny for another...

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When Eric and I were planning our wedding, we were flat broke. We are talking I-am-still-a-college-student-he-just-graduated-five-days-ago broke. My dad generously gave us a lump sum of money for the wedding. However, we could not just spend it on the wedding, there was no way. We had to think frugally. We also needed to stretch that money for a honeymoon and a down payment on a house in the near future. Oh, and did I mention Eric didn't have a full-time job? That's right. I agreed to marry this man, for him to take care of me, without even the slightest prospect of a full-time job. (This is another mbm, I'm getting off track...)

Anyway, we I was trying to plan our wedding and I was trying to prioritize. What was most important? The memories. How did you remember? Through pictures. So I decided, photography was going to be a big part of my budget. Well I started researching photographers and realized that I had champagne taste on a draft beer budget. Wow! What I wanted, my wedding story told in pictures, seemed way out of reach.

Stress started settling in. (Stress and I got to be pretty good friends over those short 6 months of engagement.) I scoured the internet for hours trying to find someone, anyone who could do what I wanted, do it well, and do it cheap.

Then God moved. He brought me to a website of a photographer who had previously only done nature shots, and had ONE wedding under his belt. But, as I read his profile my heart knew. He was a Christian. His entire vision of what a wedding should look like was biblically based. He had scripture captioned under each and every picture. And...

HE WAS GOOD!

Like really good. I held my breath as I clicked on "pricing." And then I rubbed my eyes. Squinted. Called Eric over to see if he saw what I saw.

DIAMOND PACKAGE
- All day coverage (no time contraints)
- bridal portaits
- all photos on cd and in a custom album
- doubles of all photos
- 10 5x7s, 10 8x10s, 3 16x24s, customized wedding book
price: $1200

Less than what I had budgeted.

The most amazing part of this story is that not only did I get my dream photos, but our photographer raised his prices just a mere 6 months later to over $4000 for a package that included half of what I got! He was good, and people were noticing.

Praising God today for allowing me to have sweet memories like these:

sleeping beauty flower girl

my handsome fiance' and almost father-in-law

my crazy bridesmaids, flower girl and attendees

my beautiful bridesmaids and their flowers

dancing with my daddy to Elvis

me and my honey toasting the night away

So all of these pictures go in my (virtual) memorial box to remind me of God's provision on the happiest day of my life!

By the way, my friend Amy was getting married not quite a year after us and my photographer was so good she wanted to use him as well. He had already raised his prices outside her budget as well, but because I was drumming up business for him like crazy, he gave her a huge discount as well.

How cool is our God to supply us exactly what we want and need on our most special days!

memorial box monday - nightmares

It's time for another MBM with Linny at A Place Called Simplicity!

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This week's story is pretty short and sweet, proving that God takes care of even the smallest needs. When I was 5 years old my parents were divorced and my dad moved out. I started having nightmares very shortly after. Mostly they were about people breaking in to our house, kidnapping me or my siblings or my mom. I also had the same reoccurring dream that I was standing at the top of a flight of stairs when I am pushed from behind. I fall and fall and fall and then just when I am about to hit bottom I wake up, terrified.

I hated going to bed because I knew it would only be a few hours before I woke up, paralyzed with fear. When I say paralyzed, I mean it. Fear would grip me so tight that even when I tried my hardest to call out in the night for my mom, no words would come. I couldn't move, I could hardly breathe. This went on for years, and though I may have mentioned them in passing to my mom or grandmother, I don't think they ever understood the severity of what I was going through.

When I was 12 years old I accepted Christ and made him Lord of my life. I learned that God cared deeply about me and everything I was going through. That night I started praying a prayer that I still repeat today. It's the Lord's Prayer, but I added my own ending that goes like this:

"and please protect me, my family, and my friends and help us to have nothing but good dreams tonight."

Simple, honest words from the heart of a 12 year old.

About a month later, God took away my nightmares.

Now I am not saying I never have bad dreams (I do, but it is rare.), but I have never since then experienced the crippling fear of those nightmares. You may be thinking "why in the world does she still say this prayer then?" Well, it isn't because I believe if I stop saying it my nightmares will return. No, it is more of a testament or thank you to God. It is a way I remember what he has done for me in my life.

Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!

So in my memorial box goes a copy of the Lord's Prayer, with my little ending.

the road less traveled

Linking up with Linny for Memorial Box Monday! (a little late, I know)

This is an oldie, but a goodie. This is the story of how I came to do what I do now.

It was my second year of college that I decided that I wanted to be a Mathematics major and I wanted to teach high school. That was the goal, as soon as it popped into my head I knew it was what I was supposed to do. So I started my math classes and my education classes. Along with the classes came clinicals. I actually ended up doing one of my clinicals at my alma mater high school. Then I did my student teaching there. Then (after graduating) I was hired. Just like that! No interview or anything, it seriously all fell into place.

I taught for two lovely albeit stressful years. About halfway through my first year teaching I felt the Lord impress upon me that I should leave teaching. Leave??? Clearly I hadn't heard him right. I loved teaching, loved the kids, loved coaching swimming. I was first year teacher of the year for Pete's sake (whoever Pete is). This was the right path, the one he had laid out for me.

Or so I thought. I told my husband what I thought the Lord was telling me, and he agreed.

The next week I went on a women's retreat with my church. I was filled with anxiety and worry, as we had just bought our first house and all of my thoughts centered on "how in the world will we make this work financially?" You see, the plan wasn't for me to work full-time again.

I promise the rest of this story is true. In that very same weekend I was offered not one, but two jobs from women in my church. One was taking care of a sweet elderly lady two days a week. The other was tutoring at a christian-based learning center.

How great is our God???

I wouldn't be working full-time and I would be doing things that I LOVE! I am still doing those things today. It will be such a blessing when we get our child(ren) to be able to have a flexible schedule, to spend time with them, and to be able to take them with me for the most part.

Oh the provisions he makes!

memorial box monday - missions money

It's time for MBM, which you can read all about here!

You are probably going to get sick of hearing about Costa Rica, if you aren't already. I am not going to apologize though! I really leave a piece of myself there every time I go. This story isn't really about what happened in Costa Rica, but what happened before.

Last year was our first year going, and Eric's first mission trip ever. I had been on several mission trip within the States, none of which were along the same magnitude as Costa Rica though. Obviously since we were going out of the country, the cost of the trip was pricey. (At least for our very modest income.)

We decided this year that we would write support letters, as we had done the year before. However, we had already had some fundraisers within our church to help the entire team, which limited the number of people on our list significantly. We ended up sending about 30 letters, 75% of which were to family.

Then we prayed, and prayed some more because we definitely didn't have the budget for both of us to go on the trip. The thought of me having to stay behind was devastating, but it seemed like a reality for a long time.

We paid the first deposit out of our own pocket because we hadn't received any money yet. We paid for both of us, even though we weren't positive God was saying yes for me to go yet.

The deadline for the second deposit was approaching fast, and we had yet to see much money come in. Then God moved. We went to visit some good friends of ours who live far from us now. After a trip filled with love and laughter we got ready to leave them. Before we did they told us they wanted to give us some money towards Costa Rica and handed us an envelope with a check. We went home, and the next day I opened the check - which just happened to be the exact amount we needed for the next deposit that was due that week! I called my friend to yell at her because surely she had overheard Eric and I discussing our concerns or something...nope. She says my message gave her chills because they had no idea how much we needed, but that God had impressed upon them how much to give.

PRAISE YOU FATHER!

To make a long story short, after that money started pouring in. The rest of our trip was paid for in about 3 weeks time. Excess money designated for us ended up helping another person afford their trip (I can't imagine the trip without this person now!) We even had a check waiting for us when we got BACK from Costa Rica!

"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.' "

- Matthew 17:20

memorial box monday - confirmation

I am linking up with Linny at A Place Called Simplicity for Memorial Box Monday.

Sorry I wasn't around last time, I was on a mission trip in Costa Rica! This post actually has to do with that trip. Eric and I went for our second Costa Rica trip this year and I know I prayed about specific things that I wanted God to reveal to me.

I wrote in my journal on the mountain overlooking the village of Grano de Oro:
"God, I just want clarity and peace about the adoption."

I honestly don't know why I wrote it. I have felt complete peace about the adoption process since we started in February. So I basically ignored it and went on with the trip.

Towards the last few nights of the trip our fearless leader decided it would be good for our team (of 20) to have a time of prayer and sharing. A few people shared how the trip had changed them and what they learned. Then my husband, the man who is never up for sharing or talking a lot in general, starts to talk about the things God has taught him on this trip. At first he starts talking about work and work-related stress and how God has shown him that yes, it is where he needs to be right now. Then he says he has been praying about our adoption. I knew immediately by the tone of his voice that he had been having doubts, although he never discussed them with me. He says that God has given him clarity and peace about adopting, and he is ready for our child.

Hello??? I wrote those exact words in my journal just a few days before.
We serve an awesome God people.

To top it all off, because God likes to ice the cake sometimes, another team member starts sharing. She met us last year on the trip but we haven't kept in contact. She says that when she started praying for the trip a few weeks before, all she could think of was Eric and I. So she prayed for us, even though she didn't know why. She explained that she tried to pray for others, but God just wouldn't allow it! She didn't know anything about our inability to have kids and our plans to adopt.

Today I thank God for confirmation, and for linking hearts together that wouldn't otherwise have connected.
PRAISE GOD!

memorial box monday - a parking spot

I am linking up with A Place Called Simplicity for Memorial Box Monday.

I have talked before about how I like to journal because it helps me to remember all that God has done in my life. I started this blog as a place where I can document my life and give things over to God, so it just makes sense to have a specific post dedicated to the little (and BIG) ways God takes care of us.

This is an old story, but it is one I continually turn to when seeking God's provision in my life. My last year of college I was married and living in an apartment off campus. I had to drive to school everyday. I was a math major, and all of my classes were in the oldest building on campus, which happened to have the smallest parking lot, which happened to be when the entire school was under construction.

The next closest place to park was at least a 10 minute walk and parking in non-designated spots got you a hefty $50 ticket. So everyday I left 30 minutes early in hopes of catching someone leaving said parking lot so I could get their spot and not be late for class. For the first month, I was late every day.

I decided to start praying on my ride to school in the mornings. I'd pray for my professors, other students in my class, my dear husband at his new job and then at the end I'd say "and God, please allow me to find a parking spot today."

Without fail, from that day on my God provided a spot for me. It could be 20 minutes before class or 2, there would be that one glorious spot. I wasn't late again. On my last day of that semester I broke down crying in my car in awe that my God cared so much about me that he provided me even the smallest of requests.

I serve a loving God for sure.