v day

No, not Valentine's Day. Viability day.

Friday marked my 24th week of pregnancy, which means that our baby has a really good (ie: about 70%) chance of surviving outside the womb, should she be born early. Anyone in pregnancy land will tell you that this is a big deal day, but coming from pregnancy after loss...let's just say it's huge.

I definitely do not want to meet this girl any earlier than May, but today I praise God that my chance to mother her on earth has risen exponentially. My chance to watch my husband hold her and spoil her has greatly increased.

I know every breath I take is a sweet gift from God, but I have never been more aware of that fact than I am today.

So blessed.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.- Psalm 139:13-14

i miss costa rica

It's been hitting me hard for a while now.

When we first started going to Costa Rica a few years ago, we didn't know just how much of our hearts it would steal and keep. When we had finally settled into the thought of never getting pregnant, we just assumed Costa Rica would continue to be a part of our lives. Even when we decided adoption was our path, we knew we'd be getting older children and they would be perfectly fine at the grandparents for a week while we were there. When we lost our first baby, Costa Rica was the balm to my heart that only God could have provided.

Not going to Costa Rica has never seemed like an option before. Like I have said so many times before, please don't take this like I am ungrateful for this pregnancy. However, overseas missions seemed like our future (we have seriously discussed becoming missionaries in a Central American country) or at least something that we would continue to pursue.

I know I'll go back one day. But today, when it is rainy in my town, I wish that rain was hitting my face on the mountain of Grano de Oro.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1


I figured it was time for a pregnancy update. I won't bore you with a ton of info you either know/don't care about/could look up yourself. Here is a little bit about what we are experiencing right now.

I am 22 weeks and 1 day today. My appetite has finally seemed to come back, praise God. I was really worried for a while that I wasn't being the best mother I could be because I never felt like eating. I forced food into my mouth for many, many weeks. (I have never had an issue like that before, ha!)

I felt her kick for the first time at exactly 18 weeks. I saw her kick at exactly 19 weeks, and Eric felt her/saw her at exactly 20 weeks. People said that once you start to feel the baby move, you shouldn't expect to feel it consistently. Um, not so in my little ninja's case! I have felt her everyday several times a day for the last 4 weeks. And I love every minute of it. I seriously could lay on the couch for hours talking to her and feeling her move. I am still in awe of this blessing.

Baby girl is almost a pound and somewhere around 8 inches long...although if she takes after us she probably isn't going to be making it onto the WMBA ;)

We have picked a name, and no we aren't sharing! Seriously though it's like an unspoken pact between Eric and I, we never say her name out loud! I think it in my head but when we refer to her it's always a nickname. I don't think either of us can do it because then it feels TOO real, too good to be true.

I'm still overwhelmed by starting a registry and decorating the nursery. Yup.

As much as I want to meet this little life that has taken up residence in my body, I so don't want pregnancy to end. (Please don't insert commentary like "just wait a few months, you'll be ready!" Love ya, but that's not where I'm at.)

Lots and lots of friends and family talk to our girl, which is so incredibly sweet. I am definitely not the first priority anymore and I am so ok with that. If people want to greet my baby and then me, it's alright with me! I should get used to it now anyway, according to my mama friends.

Well, that was a lot more random than I intended! A brain dump was needed I guess.

God has been so good to us, we literally have nothing to complain about. Through this pregnancy God is teaching me patience with myself. He is teaching me so much more about being thankful. Mostly he is teaching me complete and total dependence on him. God you are good, through the calm and through the storm.

my one word

My One Word is a movement that has been around since 2007 (I think) that gets rid of all the New Years resolutions that we never keep, and has us focus on one word for the entire year.

I took some time to pray about my word, and the one that I believe God has laid on my heart is serve.

I want to serve God more in 2012.
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. - Romans 12:11

 I want to serve my husband more in 2012.
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ - Acts 20:35

I want to serve my church more in 2012.
But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. - 1 Corinthians 12:24-26

I want to serve my community more in 2012.
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  - Galatians 5:13-14

What's your one word?