It's been hitting me hard for a while now.
When we first started going to Costa Rica a few years ago, we didn't know just how much of our hearts it would steal and keep. When we had finally settled into the thought of never getting pregnant, we just assumed Costa Rica would continue to be a part of our lives. Even when we decided adoption was our path, we knew we'd be getting older children and they would be perfectly fine at the grandparents for a week while we were there. When we lost our first baby, Costa Rica was the balm to my heart that only God could have provided.
Not going to Costa Rica has never seemed like an option before. Like I have said so many times before, please don't take this like I am ungrateful for this pregnancy. However, overseas missions seemed like our future (we have seriously discussed becoming missionaries in a Central American country) or at least something that we would continue to pursue.
I know I'll go back one day. But today, when it is rainy in my town, I wish that rain was hitting my face on the mountain of Grano de Oro.
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" - Ecclesiastes 3:1