the body of christ

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.  Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.  - 1 Corinthians 12:12-14

But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.  And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?  Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. - 1 Corinthians 12:18-31

Jesus.
He knows my pain.
He knows my hurt.
He knows my longing.
He knows my desire.

He loves me, unconditionally. (Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. - 1 John 4:8)

He is my rock, my salvation. (My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. - Psalm 62:1-2)

He intercedes for me. (Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. - Romans 8:34)

He died so that I might have life. (The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.- John 10:10)

Which is why he isn't here on earth today.
It's why he can't physically hug me and tell me that everything will be ok. 

It's also why during our time of grief, he has sent people into our lives that have done above and beyond what friends should do. I know what the body of Christ should look like now. I know how it should function. I know because I have experienced it, day in and day out since we found out our little one wouldn't make it.

I now know that the body of Christ is just that, brothers and sisters who become the hands and feet of Jesus. They have become the arms that hold us tight, so that we don't fall apart.

My friends and family have lifted us in prayer. They have sent cards. They have sent flowers. They have been a shoulder to cry on. They have allowed us to vent our anger and air out our grief. They have not judged us. They have not offered platitudes. They have wept with us. They have assured us our feelings are normal. They have promised not to let go of us.

They have been Jesus to us, in our greatest time of need.

I can not thank these friends and family enough. I feel terrible for not having more of myself to give right now. I know it is biblical to bear one another's burdens, but I am so used to being the strong one, the encourager. It's hard and humbling to allow others to come along side us like this, but I wouldn't trade one of them for the world. Whether these people are a two minute drive from us or one thousand miles away, each one has touched Eric and I. Each one has lifted us one foot closer to the top of the pit.

I never want anyone to experience the intense pain and loneliness that is loss, but it is my prayer that people understand the importance of the church. Church isn't a building with pews. Church is disciples of Jesus gathering together to worship the Creator and to do life together. Is that life always easy? No, of course not. But I believe that when life starts getting messy and ugly, the people who most understand what Christ did for them on the cross are the ones who are not going to walk away. They will stay and pray and get messy right along with their church family.

Most of the people in my life now know about our baby. The statement that I most often hear is "you are so strong to be handling this with such grace." I want to say, gently, no friend, I am not. I am not strong. I am very, very weak. The strength I have is what I draw from my Savior.

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10