selfish

Lately this is how I have been feeling...selfish. My heart breaks for things like the orphan, the poverty-stricken third worlds, the millions of children in foster care. But my heart does not break for many of those around me. It's hard for me to empathize with people who have food and roof over their head and someone who loves them...but Jesus cares. And he commands me to as well. This is my prayer today, Lord. Break my heart for what breaks yours.

Prayer of a Selfish Soul

Lord, I have been everything except what I should.
I have fought for my own way over yours,
And I have done nothing but fall short.
I am here for the sole purpose
Of requesting Your mercy once again.
I have chased my own dreams
And burned my own way
Through this busted world to no avail.
I have been a stubborn fool
Who only cares about what he can accomplish
And who he can impress.
I feel as though I am nothing—
A jester of chance that is completely unworthy
Of everything You are.
I have come to the broken realization
That without You, I am nothing, my God.
I need you in every part of my life.
Without you directing my steps,
I do nothing but wander the days and nights
Of a desperate world
That is rife with disappointment and failure.
But with You, there is joy and there is love.
With You, I am everything I should be,
Everything I am capable of being.
I have been a selfish soul.
I am here, on my battered knees,
Whispering my hallelujahs
And begging for forgiveness from You—
A forgiveness that I am forever in need of.
Forgive me, sweet Lord.
Make me what I need to be.
Let my tattered heart burn for You as it should.
I relent everything I am to You.
I hand over every part of my withered life
So that You may do with me as You see fit.
Use me, so that I may be proof to a dying world
That there is a God of mercy and unconquered love.
Clean my selfish soul.
Take everything that is not of You
And make me whole once again.
I am here, God.
I have made the final choice
To quit my dashing about
And be still in your ever pure ways.
In your perfect will, let it be so.
Amen.

-Cory Copeland