Today is the day Eric and I were supposed to meet our baby. Instead of heading to the hospital and going through labor and delivery and ending up with a snuggly little bundle in our arms, we are sitting in our living room, arms empty.

We named our baby, though I have never shared here before. Though we never found out the sex, we both had a sense she was a girl.

Ellis - "my God is the Lord"

Ellis gave us so much. I had thought conception an impossibility, Ellis proved that wrong. I had a deep desire to become a mother, and Ellis made me one. She brought a lot of joy to us in the short time that I carried her. 

I can't write any more through the tears. I miss our baby. My heart still hurts from what we lost.

But my God is the LORD.
He is my strength and my Redeemer, my very present help.
He is close to the brokenhearted.
He is our Sustainer.
My God is the LORD.

We love you, Ellis.


  1. days like these can be difficult yet special at the same time. isn't it so interesting how we can miss a child we've never met? and one day you will meet her! in the meantime it is a hard wait. thinking of you.

  2. Thank you for always being willing to share! SOOOOO thankful you're in my life.

  3. In the company of angels. Can you even imagine?

    Talking with Jesus face-to-face - waiting for her Mommy and Daddy and knowing already if she gets a brother or a sister.

    So blessed you have shared us with her. What a precious gift.

  4. That's a beautiful name--someday you will meet her in Heaven and see just how beautiful she is. God will sustain you until then. I pray He breathes His blessings on you.


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