I had started to realize that I viewed my life in two parts: before we lost our child, and after we lost our child.
Everything in my world was shaken to the core. My ability to make decisions had gone out the window. I didn't trust anything I said or did to be a part of God's plan for me.
You see, before our loss I was sure.
I was sure about adoption.
I was sure about a sibling group.
I was sure about going through foster care.
I was sure about being ok with not being pregnant, or having a biological child.
I was sure.
After our loss I was uncertain.
I was uncertain that I wanted to adopt.
I was uncertain that I wanted a sibling group.
I was uncertain about going through foster care.
I was uncertain if I ever wanted to become pregnant again, or have a biological child.
Before and after.
The truth is, my life is partitioned into two parts. I was just wrong about the event in which my life was divided.
If you want to read the rest, please go over to Held where I am guest posting today.