I like you. I really really do. That is why I would really like for you to sign what us teachers like to call a "Contract for Success." Think of it like a little prenup between you and I, if you want our long standing relationship to last.
CONTRACT FOR SUCCESS:
During the months of October through Mid-December, Fall agrees to:
- allow the leaves to change colors
- crisp up the air
- enable weather for boots/leggings/sweaters
- have stores sell
- spiced apple candles
- hot chocolate (especially the salted caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks...mmmm)
- pumpkin flavored things
However, I would formally like to lodge a few complaints about this year, since our contract will be post-dated.. Namely: The leaves are changing entirely too fast, we need some color variation here. Green to brown isn't cutting it.I said crisp, not frigid air. Seeing my breath in the morning is not acceptable in October, thank you very much. Also, this whole freezing-in-the-morning-blazin-hot-in-the-afternoon thing is really starting to do a number on my laundry. The laundry I already despise doing, so cut that out too.
Failure to adhere to said regulations will result in the termination of your position. IE: Summer will go directly into Winter, bypassing the need for Fall altogether. You understand, don't you?