what if?

I want to preface this video by saying Eric and I are not currently in this place, but there are many couples that are. Infertility is a real disease and it is one of the most taboo subjects I have ever experienced. This video just sheds a little light on how couples experiencing infertility (of any kind) feel. These are the kind of thoughts that run through their heads on a daily basis. Now that we are on the journey to adoption, the pain of infertility hasn't disappeared, it has just been put on the back burner. I am sharing this video to advocate for those in which it is still too painful to talk about.

***Warning: Some content may make you uncomfortable***

What IF? A Portrait of Infertility from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

I just found this video on You Tube, which is strange because Lyndsie at A Love Worth Waiting For just posted it as well. Again, I am not saying that this video is representative of where Eric and I are now, but it does represent the majority of those dealing with infertility and loss.


  1. that first video was one of the best videos i have ever seen put together. very create, very emotional, and i hope that it will mean HOPE of a life defined by God to people who deal with this issue.

  2. I *love* the "I would die for that" video. Hadn't seen the "what if" one, but it's great, too. Thanks for being an advocate. (((hugs)))

  3. I came over to your blog from Amy's. I have often thought that perhaps God gives people infertility so that they will adopt. There are so many kids in this world that need families.

    As Christians, aren't we all adopted anyway.

  4. i remember finding the "what if" video (and the other one) and just crying along with it...i'm in a better place now, but that pain is sometimes still so vivid.

  5. Oh, Heather. This made me cry. Tears of sorrow and of thankfulness all mingled together. I need to process this. It may turn into a blog entry yet.

  6. This is the first time I've ever seen that What If video. WOW... just WOW.

    Thank you so much for posting that.

    I struggled with primary infertility for seven years before giving up. And it impacts you on so many levels. I questioned God and blamed him for this desire to have children that would never be realized.

    So many women struggle with this - such a blessing that you posted this to touch others! THANKS SO MUCH!

  7. Just visited your blog after you commented on mine and that first video was powerful to say the least. We're no longer in that place, but it sure did bring back all those emotions, fears, doubts etc. Thank God for taking us on a journey that ended with adoption and hope. I too believe that God threw infertility on our plate so that our son and soon-to-be daughter would find a better place to call home. Thanks for posting these videos...I might just link them to my blog.

  8. Heather-Thanks for posting this. I'll have to remember it to show to others.


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