on slowing down

I knew it would be like this, I knew the moment when Eric and I found out whether or not our sweet baby was a boy or a girl would be game changer.

I have definitely struggled with this pregnancy, mentally more than anything else. Typing that outright sounds kind of terrible. Let me explain.

I wanted to be pregnant.
I still want to be pregnant.
I am overjoyed to be pregnant.

However, coming from the world of infertility and loss has been more difficult than I ever imagined.

I don't immediately identify with my other pregnant friends. I am joyful, but my joy comes from the Lord, not from the fact that I am pregnant. I am also thankful, same reasoning. You cannot just erase almost four years from your life like they never happened. God has grown and stretched me in ways I could have never imagined. I can look back and see times where God was molding me to look more like his Son. Painful times, but so very productive.

So yes, I have struggled to come to terms with many things during this pregnancy. It doesn't mean I am ungrateful at all, but in my humanness, my mind wanders.

Why now God? Why this timing?
I love this baby, but I loved my first baby too. I wouldn't be carrying this little girl if my first one wasn't sitting with you today.

Can you understand why this pregnancy has been such a mind battle for me? There are a lot of things that add to that battle as the pregnancy progresses; milestones that I did or did not reach with Ellis. The biggest one so far? Gender.

Which brings us back to the game changer. We found out our little one is indeed female, to which I was supremely surprised and Eric was ridiculously overjoyed! To say he was hoping for a girl is an understatement. Love that man of mine! But after our initial elation, reality set in. More than reality, pressure.

I don't like pressure. But there it was like a big black rain cloud hovering over our parade. No one had to put it there, it just appeared on it's own. Pressure to name. Pressure to tell the name. Pressure to decorate the nursery. Pressure to register for all things pink. Pressure, pressure, pressure.

Eric and I have decided not to give in to pressure. This may be the only full-term (God willing) pregnancy we ever get to experience. In an effort to fully realize the blessing we have been given, there are things we must do in order to protect our hearts and minds. A few of these things will make other people mad, I am aware of that. I also don't feel like I have to defend our decisions to anyone. We don't plan on announcing our baby girl's name to the general public. I don't plan on registering for a million and one things, nor do I plan to register any time soon.

Right now I am happy to just sit and enjoy the kicks that I know I'll miss feeling soon. (I'm 20 weeks!!!)
I am even ok with going maternity shopping...mostly because I love shopping and it's getting to be a necessity!
I've started a tiny bit of nursery dreaming, mostly to appease my very excited mom who is generously making the bedding for her first granddaughter. 
I am just not sold on the over-hyped commercialization of pregnancy (or babies and children for that matter, kids just aren't as burdening or expensive as the world makes them out to be).

I think most women want pregnancy to go fast so they can get straight to mothering. I'm just not of that same mindset. And that isn't stemming from me having a superawesomeIcouldbepregnantfortherestofmylife pregnancy, it's just the realization that it is so easy to take gifts from God for granted...even gifts we have wanted begged for for years.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10

what a year can bring

I am stealing this idea from my friend Gaby and giving her credit because I told her I would! :)

2011 in Review
January marked the one year anniversary of starting the adoption process. We were discouraged, and yet had so much hope for that route. God had different things in my mind, we just didn't know it yet.

February is the month that took me to Honduras, Eric to Costa Rica, and renewed my passion for mission work. I wrote about it a lot. It's also the month we conceived for the first time in our 4.5 year marriage.

March is the month I came home from Honduras. It's the month that we learned of our conception and felt God's presence in our lives in a new and different way. God also taught me a lot about anxiety this month.

April was a slow month in blog land for me, but not in my personal life. I did post a little about infertility.

May was a big month. I turned 26 and was incredibly depressed. I had to say goodbye to my first child. God taught me a very important lesson on the body of Christ.

June was the month my sweet husband turned 28. God blessed me immensely and unexpectedly with another mission trip to Costa Rica, a balm to my broken and confused heart.

July brought our FIVE year anniversary! It also brought our decision to stop pursuing foster-to-adopt.

August was the month that God taught me a lot about identity. We conceived our second child, unbeknownst to us. I also got this spiffy new blog ;)

In September I guest posted on Held, and we learned of the sweet baby growing inside me. 

In October I had a lot of blog problems and switched back to blogger! Love blogger. We also announced our pregnancy to you and the world ;) I also had to say good-bye to my grandmother.

November came with highs and lows. I told you the name we chose for our first baby on her estimated due date. I also entered into my second trimester with the baby girl I now carry.

December brought the excitement and anticipation of finding out the sex of our sweet baby. We celebrated the best birthday in the world, JESUS'!

What did 2011 have for you? I have to say, this year was a roller coaster of emotions that surpasses the others by a landslide. But we have SEEN God work, we have tasted his goodness and experienced pieces of His magnificent plan. We wouldn't trade 2011 - heartaches and joys - for anything.

merry christmas

"All kings will bow before him, and all nations will serve him." - Psalm 72:11

it's a...

There were a total of 53 votes on my little poll for boy or girl! 30 of you said girl, while the other 23 believed a baby boy was in our future! Believe me when I say there were some STRONG opinions on both sides :) You all made this a lot of fun for us! But more importantly, we so appreciate the prayers on behalf of our little one.

We are beyond blessed to announce that...

Majority wins! Now for names, nursery, and all that jazz!!!

hangin' there

A few weeks ago I shared with you all that the day after we saw our precious baby's heartbeat for the first time, my grandmother went home to be with the Lord. I don't think I can ever explain the mix of emotions felt during that week.

Today I just want to talk about Tata. Tata means grandmother in Arabic. It's pronounced "Ta" (like tablet) "tah." Most of this post won't mean anything to you all, that's ok, I just feel the need to put down memories of her somewhere. I've always said this blog is my outlet, where I hope to encourage others and glorify God all at the same time.

Tata is one of my first memories. When my parents divorced and we moved away, we visited my dad every summer. We always stayed at Tata's house. She lived about a quarter mile from the ocean in Massachusetts. Her house is one of my favorite places in the entire world. We moved a lot growing up, so I can't say "my childhood home" and mean one place in particular. Tata's house has always been my constant. It is a very small white cottage made up of two bedrooms, one tiny bathroom, a living room and a kitchen. That's it. I love every square inch of that place. My most favorite space in that house is actually not in the house, it's outside. You see Tata was born and raised in Lebanon. She is hands down the best cook I've ever known...more on that later. Anyway, a traditional Arabic dish is yubra - stuffed grape leaves. When Tata moved into her house in the 60s the first thing she did was plant her grape vine. Over 50 years later, it's beautiful and full and producing the most awful tasting grapes! That doesn't matter though, all she needed was the leaves.

She had two sheds out back stuffed to the gills with everything you can imagine. She had two freezers in one, completely packed with food and Lebanese bread! In the event of a snow storm, she wouldn't have to go anywhere for weeks.

A few years ago I thought it would be very important to learn to cook some of her Arabic dishes. She measured nothing! I carefully watched and wrote down ingredients, steps, and eyeballed measurements to ensure I could at least make the simple things that I grew up eating. I thank God for those sweet hours I got to spend with her, talking about how she learned to cook and where she grew up. I learned that she married at 13 years old! She had my dad at age 16 and my uncle at 20. She didn't have any more children after him and I could see in her face that it pained her. She never spoke of being unable to conceive, but at the time Eric and I were going through the same thing and my heart broke over our unspoken infertility bonds.

I learned to make hummus, sfiha (spinach/meat pies), yubra (stuffed grape leaves), mujadara (lentils and rice), tabouleh (parsley salad) and many more dishes. I hope one day they turn out as good as hers.

While Dad was working, Tata did her best to fill our days. We went to the beach and collected snails. She loved to put her feet in the water. We walked on the sea wall. We visited family. Most of all, we shopped! Tata loved to shop. She would shop and buy and the next day she'd return everything! She loved to grocery shop too. She went nearly every day. It was amazing to see her cart filled with $100 worth of groceries, and she'd spend $7.62. I am not kidding, the woman was the original Extreme Couponer.

Dad took us to Disney World one time, and Tata came too! At almost 70 years old, she rode Space Mountain!!! Coolest grandmother ever. When she passed away and I went to MA to help dad go through some of her things, I found a very important envelope. It contained the original deed to her house, her marriage certificate, Dad's birth certificate, and all of our tickets from Disney World. Of course, I lost it. She kept everything important to her in that envelope.


Though she lived in the States for over 50 years, she still liked English as her second language. The sounds of Arabenglish permeated her house as she spoke fast and fluent with her sisters and brother. I will never forget certain phrases that rang out loud when she was excited, or angry!

When she saw us for the first time - "Ya budna!!!"
When she was angry with dad - "Haram."
When she called me on the phone - "Hi Nino!" (Nino was a nickname, no one knows how it got started but she is the only one to ever give me one that actually stuck.)
When asked how she was doing - "Hangin' there!" (She meant "hanging in there.")

I know my Tata loved the Lord. I know she is with with Jesus and she feels no more pain. I'm thankful that when God decided it was time it was fairly quick and relatively painless. There is so much more I could type, so much more I could say about her. I could write a novel on the many hilarious experiences we had, the funny conversations on the phone...

The last voicemail she left me was during Hurricane Irene: Hi Nino! How are you Tata? Be careful from the hurricane Tata. Stay with your sister and brother. I'll talk to you later einey, bye. I love you. Bye.

She could never say bye just one time.

Bye Tata, I love you too. Bye.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. - 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

sometimes it's ok to pick sides

Well friends there is some intense debate among family/friends/blog friends as to whether Baby Evans is sugar and spice or snips and snails. So I am setting up a poll (see right side of blog) for you all to cast your vote!

To help you along, here is how I compare to some old wives tales about gender:

I crave sour/salty.
My hair is full and thick.
I had morning sickness (but it was at night and now it's gone)
Chinese gender predictor said boy.
I would say my "bump" is more low than high.
The heart rate is consistently in the 155-165 range.

My intuition says boy but Eric says girl! Honestly, we really don't care either way. Healthy is way more important. My doctor did agree to do the gender scan on December 20th, I'll be almost 19 weeks then. We will get the technician to put the results in a card for us to open on Christmas morning! (Or evening, I am notoriously impatient!)

Mostly I am just excited to see our sweet little one via ultrasound for the second time. It will be almost 11 weeks since we saw him/her the first time. I, for one, am very glad God has blessed us with the knowledge of this technology.

I'll let you guys all know the results shortly after Christmas!!! Now go vote ;)

ellis

Today is the day Eric and I were supposed to meet our baby. Instead of heading to the hospital and going through labor and delivery and ending up with a snuggly little bundle in our arms, we are sitting in our living room, arms empty.

We named our baby, though I have never shared here before. Though we never found out the sex, we both had a sense she was a girl.

Ellis - "my God is the Lord"

Ellis gave us so much. I had thought conception an impossibility, Ellis proved that wrong. I had a deep desire to become a mother, and Ellis made me one. She brought a lot of joy to us in the short time that I carried her. 

I can't write any more through the tears. I miss our baby. My heart still hurts from what we lost.

But my God is the LORD.
He is my strength and my Redeemer, my very present help.
He is close to the brokenhearted.
He is our Sustainer.
My God is the LORD.

We love you, Ellis.

goodbye, first tri(mester)

Well as of yesterday I officially entered the second trimester. Woah. That means I am 1/3 of the way through with this pregnancy (assuming dates are correct and baby comes close to my due date).

Reality is really starting to set in. I have moments of COMPLETE panic that I am growing a real live baby in me! And then the panic turns to amazement and I am awed by how awesome God has been to us. Our baby is the length of a lemon, which is appropriate as I love anything citrus-y. I *think* that my morning-but-should-be-called-night-sickness is weaning. The past few days I have felt GREAT! As in I have done laundry and cleaning and hung out with friends and generally been out and about rather than laid up on my couch. I have figured out a trick that seems to work for me. If I can sleep in until 9:30 or so in the morning, I tend to feel so much better in the day. The amount of sleep at night doesn't matter, just the time I wake up. Weird, I know.

And yes, I do know how blessed I am to have a job that affords me that opportunity :) I can button some pants, but not others. I have gained a little weight. My next appointment is December 1st, I will be 16 weeks then. My plan (if I can convince my doctor) is to hopefully have the gender scan when I am 18 weeks, which is right before Christmas. Then Eric and I can get our doctor to put  the result in a card for us to open on Christmas! (And maybe I will tell friends and family too, hahahaha!)

Anyway, this was way longer than I intended. Bottom line is: I am trying to soak up every part of this pregnancy, the good and the not so good. There is no way to know whether God will bless us with another one, so I am taking each moment as it comes and praising the Lord for his goodness.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever." - 1 Chronicles 16:34

blogging boosts egos

I love awards. There, I said it. I didn't get any superlatives in high school so winning just feels good ;)

The Liebster Award spotlights up and coming bloggers who generally have less than 200 followers. Upon receipt of the Liebster Award, there are a few very simple rules:
1. Copy and paste the award on your blog
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

A big thank you to one of my favorite bloggers (who just happens to have one of the most adorable children on the planet) Grace @ Chois-R-Us!

Now for my picks!
1. Taylor @ On My Front Porch Looking In
2. Jenn @ Life's Little Details
3. Eric @ Everything Matters Today (is it cheating to give one to my husband? I don't care, he rocks!)
4. Jess @ When the Music Fades
5. Deb @ Chosen Ones
 
Spread the award love people!

if you've ever owned a dachshund

We have a miniature dachshund. Her name is Maggie. We have had her since we got back from our honeymoon, over 5 years ago. To say she is stubborn is an understatement. She is a self-proclaimed princess. She is insane. She has eaten 4 times the amount of chocolate that should have killed her (don't ask) and a half dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, yet here she lies breathing next to me. I may or may not refer to her as "the little bad one" on a daily basis. I am fairly convinced she has no soul because she knows when she does bad things and she just.doesn't.care. But I do love this crazy dog.

Anyway, if you have ever owned a dachshund...these are for you:

Do you have any funny dachshund-related gear?

heartbeat

I posted before about the crazy amount of anxiety I have been having with this pregnancy. I know it's par for the course in a pregnancy after loss, but it's hard to...

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." - Philippians 4:6

...ya know? After our first ultrasound when we heard/saw our baby's precious heartbeat, my anxiety faded into the background for a while. However, since this is considered a normal pregnancy (even though I feel anything but normal!) I don't get another appointment until a month later. So in the span of a month I felt the old anxious feelings slowly creeping back in. They are sneaky, like little ninjas in my brain implanting"what if" questions deep within my synapses.

By the time my third appointment rolled around, I was in full blown panic mode. I feared my baby was already gone and that my doctor would be unable to find that beautiful little heartbeat again. I feared I'd be whisked off to ultrasound sans husband to learn that our little one was once again in the arms of Jesus.

But why oh why can't I seem to remember that we serve a God of miracles? Even after all the many trials in life He has brought us through??? I think a lot of it stems from my own feelings of unworthiness. I know so many precious and godly women who desperately desire nothing more than to become a mother. They are so much more deserving than I am. They have waited longer. Lord, won't you bless them in this way?

I'm rambling, so I'll get on with it. My doctor did find our baby's heartbeat, and quickly. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I closed my eyes and the tears slipped down and just reveled in the sound of life growing in me.

I am pregnant. I am growing a baby. Eric and I are parents. I repeat these thoughts in my head a million times a day hoping that eventually they will sink in!

I am 12 weeks and 1 day now, just about a week shy of my second trimester. My baby is the size of a small lime and my doctor says I am measuring right on track. I've even gained a few pounds...which my friends assure me is a wonderful thing ;) 

Lord, thank you for all the blessings in my life. There is a facebook status thingy (that's technical!) about the 30 Days of Thankful in November. I could easily name thirty things I am thankful for without naming my baby as one. I need to remember that. I was blessed before this pregnancy. God does bless people with the gift of children, but it is not his only or his greatest blessing: that would be Jesus Christ.

sunday smorgasbord

1. I haven't blogged in a while, I'm sorry!
2. I am 11 weeks and 2 days today :)
3. I am not ready for Christmas. I haven't even thought about buying presents. Ugh.
4. I am ready for Thanksgiving. No presents, just good food and family and friends!
5. I have eager friends who would like to discuss baby names. My mind won't go there until I know a gender.
6. I am team blue all the way. Eric is not. Neither are most of my friends, haha!
7. I learned Saturday that I am a face painting BEAST.
8. I have so much laundry to do it's comical. As in, I laugh when I think about it.
9. My grandmother passed away the day after our ultrasound. I am still pretty devastated. More on that soon.
10. Sometimes you just need a good random brain dump post to kickstart your blogging again! (hint hint to some of my scarce bloggy friends!)
11. I AM SO IN LOVE WITH JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what i don't believe in

I want to preface this post by saying I am so, so humbled and thankful for this pregnancy. I love this baby so very much and I wouldn't change any of this crazy ride even if I could. I know God has a reason for every minute detail of our lives, even when we don't understand his motives or timing.

Timing is what I am talking about today. I hadn't told you yet, in fact I had told very few people in real life of our plans. Eric and I decided to start the domestic infant adoption process. We chose an agency, filled out our preliminary paperwork, and scheduled our first meeting. We were also very excited about our new adventure! I have a saved post in drafts that I was writing to tell you all when I took the pregnancy test that changed our lives...again.

Hear me and hear me well, friends. I am NOT advocating the "just adopt and you will get pregnant" movement. Just so you know, that happens to less than 10% of the couples who choose adoption. It's a myth, pure and simple.

The other thing I want you to know...or maybe it's more for myself than anyone else...adoption is still my heart. Eric and I, God-willing, will adopt one day. I still don't know if it will be through foster care, domestic, or international. My heart is for the orphan and that will never change.

I won't lie, I have had moments of disappointment when I think about the fact that we are not able to adopt right now (most agencies, including the one we chose, do not allow adoption until 1 year after a child is born into the family). I am not disappointed that we are pregnant! I am not sad about growing a tiny little life inside of me, please know that. I think I am just struggling with God's timing in it all. We were so at peace and SO excited about adoption and BAM - a completely alternate route.

What I don't believe in: coincidence
What I do believe in: a sovereign God

That's really the heart of the matter, isn't it?

"To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue. All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. The LORD works out everything to its proper end — even the wicked for a day of disaster." - Proverbs 16:1-4

back to basics

Or should I say back to what works?

I am back to blogger. Way too many issues with hosting when I made the switch. Eric has spent entirely too much time trying to fix stuff on mine and his, so we are both Official Forever Blogger Fans. That's the technical term.

You'll be happy to know that the blogroll people i stalk list is back and functioning. This system works better for me anyway. Can I just say that I hate RSS readers? Yup, I said it. It's true.

Here's to not fixin' what ain't broke!

the one about miracles

Where do I start? How do I tell you all about a miracle that I have been dreaming about writing forever? My first instinct is to come out and say it. My first instincts are never that good. Maybe I’ll just tell you a story.

You know the beginning of this story. You know, the story of a boy and girl who fell in love, got married, and couldn’t have babies. But God was sovereign.

You know some of the crazy turns this story has taken. The boy and the girl decide to adopt through foster care. It didn’t end well. In fact, it didn’t end at all. Almost two years later, they still aren’t certified. But God was bigger than their plans.

You know about the heartache they have endured. The boy and the girl learned of the little one growing inside her, only to lose that little one entirely too soon. But God was loving.

Now, there is a new little one growing inside her. This baby is perfectly formed with arms and legs and the most beautiful heartbeat the boy and girl had ever seen or heard. God is faithful.

I’m pregnant, dear friends. It is indeed a miracle. A very unexpected and much desired miracle. I have been processing this news for over two weeks now. It was two weeks of very intense anxiety and fear. You see, once you have experienced a loss, your innocence is taken. My first reaction upon learning of this new life was complete joy, followed very quickly by consuming fear. Fear that we would have to relive the nightmare of losing a child again.

I have the most incredible husband, family, and friends (both in my real life, and my Hannah girls) who were praying for me and our baby during those two weeks. I believe the Lord heard their prayers. Yesterday we had our first ultrasound. In the morning I woke up filled with dread, where was the hope I should have had? Where was God’s peace? I prayed…

“…I believe; help my unbelief!” – Mark 9:24b

I was literally shaking on the ultrasound table. Within moments, our precious baby was on the screen, wiggling away with a HEARTBEAT. A few moments later we heard that heartbeat for ourselves. That was the moment, for me. The moment I let go of fear and clung to hope. The moment I realized that the Lord really did bless us with not only a pregnancy, but a real live baby. Every emotion I felt dropped silently down my face in humble, grateful tears.

Friends, I am 8 weeks and 1 day today. Our baby has a
large
head, body, arms, legs, and a beautiful beating heart. I was very wary of posting here or facebook or anywhere else announcing our news, however, I have since learned of the absolute amazingness of the body of Christ. And, how loved Eric and I and our baby already are. I come here now, asking you to cover us in prayer. We are not naive, we know there is still a chance that we might not see this baby this side of heaven. We also know that we serve a big and mighty God.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17

I have much more to share, but in order to use my words carefully and bring the most glory to God, I must split the next few posts up. The multiplicity of emotions is just overwhelming right now.

Be back soon, God bless.

i'm sorry

My blog was frozen.
I couldn’t access my account.
I couldn’t write any posts.
I lost all my followers and my comments.

But it’s ok.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good… – Genesis 50:20a

My precious husband has fixed the problem (we think) so I am back online! If you wouldn’t mind, following me again? I’m sorry, I hate to keep asking that. But, if you want to get updates via GoogleFriendConnect, it’s the only way! I don’t think you will have to re-add me to your RSS feeders or blog rolls though.

And you should be excited I am back! I have many things to share with you!!!

held - he would

He would probably gloat when we found out she was a girl.
He would laugh and poke my belly when she kicked him for the first time.
He would drive entirely too fast to the hospital when it was time.
He would be brave during labor and braver during delivery.
He would hold her for the first time like she was the most breakable thing on the planet.
He would love her fiercely.

Please join me on Held today for the rest.

let’s talk accountability

Doesn’t that sound like the most fun topic EVER?

I didn’t think so. But recently I have been thinking about it a lot. A lot of times we make the mistake of having the “it’s just me and Jesus” mentality. Well, to be blunt, it’s not. Check out 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. It’s all about the body of Christ. As in, we are called to do life together.

That doesn’t just mean we go hang out at Starbucks together, sip pumpkin spice lattes (hello, delicious btw) and talk about what we are wearing to church on Sunday. I can say that because I have done just that. And you know what? That’s not accountability.

Accountability is hard. It’s not always fun. It requires a level of trust that we are not very willing to give out most of the time, especially if we have been burned before. I am going to go ahead and get personal with you. Ya know, cuz it’s my blog and I’ll blog if I want to. (I know, I shouldn’t making jokes about something serious but please, someone name that tune!) Here goes.

I don’t hesitate to have an accountability partner (or two) because I have been hurt in the past. I don’t hesitate because I’m not a talker. I don’t hesitate because it doesn’t come naturally.

I hesitate because I don’t want to be a burden on someone else. I know that once I bare my soul to someone other than God, I am exposed. I’m vulnerable. Every fiber of my being would wait in scary anticipation of the first words out of said partners mouth. I think we all have that one thing, the one that plagues us over and over. The one we tell God “I’m giving this to you!” only to take it right back again the next day. And if we have an accountability partner, they are going to see just how many times you have to confess that struggle.

Will they judge me?
Will they discount my pain?
Will they give me Godly advice, even if they have never been in my shoes?

Now, you and I probably don’t struggle with the same thing. We may not even agree on the reason why we hold back from a deeper relationship with people. As Christians, however, we have to agree on this: Accountability is a necessary and important step in growing a deeper relationship with the Lord.

I want you to know that God has blessed me with an incredible husband, and I tell him almost everything. He is my best friend. However, I can not go to my husband every single time I need to unload. It would crush him. And he can’t do that to me either. We need other people in our lives that we can be blatantly honest with.

On that note, I have been blessed with amazing friends. Some of them have seen me at my absolute blackest – though I’m not sure if they realize this. Something tells me they do. My friends have not walked my road, nor I theirs. Our weaknesses are so very different, but you know what we have in common?

We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

We love each other with a real, genuine love that stems from our individual relationships with Jesus. Because I love my friends, I do not judge their heart. Because my friends love me, they do not judge mine.

My heart aches for those of you who may not have friendships/relationships like this. They are necessary and healing and encouraging and bonding and I could go on and on. Some of you may have had accountability backfire on you in a big way, and now you are scared to do it again. Let me encourage you, the Lord can heal that hurt. You may be shy and feel unable to open yourself up people personally, the Lord can give you boldness.

If you don’t put yourself out there, you will miss big things that God has for you, I can promise you that. It’s my prayer that you will.

Though we are ultimately accountable to God, I believe that accountability with people is biblical.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21

 

new jeans

Well Google Friend Connect decided to be a booger so I had to start that over. So if you were following me through it, you aren't following the new blog.

So head on over to everday evans and follow me. Again. If you want to.

LOVE my new blog. SUCH a pain though. It's like breaking in a new pair of jeans. The old ones were so comfy but full of holes...the new ones are pretty but need to be washed 1000 more times...

time to say goodbye

Goodbye old blog, hello new one! Head on over guys, but remember, it's like I just moved in to my new house so there are probably a lot of unpacked boxes. Ignore the mess and enjoy it for what it is right now ;)

everyday evans

tomorrow, tomorrow!

Let's start this new blog switch over right with 20 Everyday Evans points to whomever can name that tune the fastest!

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY! Remember to switch your blog rolls, update bookmarks and RSS feeds to

www.everydayevans.com

I'm a little sad to see this blog go. It's like owning your first house! I learned a lot about me, writing, and God through this little place. And I got to meet all of YOU! So prettyprettypleasewithacherryontop come follow me again, I don't want to lose you!

I guess you are expecting a knock out post for tomorrow...which means I need to get to writing... ;)

i'm so excited and i just can't hide it

Sooooooooooo...

As of Sunday afternoon, August 28, 2011, Reach In, Reach Out, Reach Up will cease to exist. Ok, not really. That was a little dramatic. But I won't be blogging under that name any longer. I told you a while ago that ch ch ch changes were coming and I meant it!

My new domain:

Everyday Evans

You clicked that link expecting big things, didn't you? Well sorry to disappoint, but no sneak previews here. You must wait your turn like everyone else ;)

Ok here's just a little preview:

Seriously though, I don't want to lose any of you in the change-over, so make sure you update your bookmarks or RSS feed. After Sunday make sure you follow www.everydayevans.com. Google Connect will be ready and waiting for you! Also, starting sometime next week (according to my supernerdysogladheistechsavvy husband) we will be forwarding Reach In, Reach Out, Reach Up to Everyday Evans. So one way or another, Imma getcha there!

SO EXCITED!

More to come...stay tuned!

oh how pinteresting

It's my new addiction.

Pinterest.

Hours of enjoyment totally useful fun! Join, pin, follow, love.