the one about miracles

Where do I start? How do I tell you all about a miracle that I have been dreaming about writing forever? My first instinct is to come out and say it. My first instincts are never that good. Maybe I’ll just tell you a story.

You know the beginning of this story. You know, the story of a boy and girl who fell in love, got married, and couldn’t have babies. But God was sovereign.

You know some of the crazy turns this story has taken. The boy and the girl decide to adopt through foster care. It didn’t end well. In fact, it didn’t end at all. Almost two years later, they still aren’t certified. But God was bigger than their plans.

You know about the heartache they have endured. The boy and the girl learned of the little one growing inside her, only to lose that little one entirely too soon. But God was loving.

Now, there is a new little one growing inside her. This baby is perfectly formed with arms and legs and the most beautiful heartbeat the boy and girl had ever seen or heard. God is faithful.

I’m pregnant, dear friends. It is indeed a miracle. A very unexpected and much desired miracle. I have been processing this news for over two weeks now. It was two weeks of very intense anxiety and fear. You see, once you have experienced a loss, your innocence is taken. My first reaction upon learning of this new life was complete joy, followed very quickly by consuming fear. Fear that we would have to relive the nightmare of losing a child again.

I have the most incredible husband, family, and friends (both in my real life, and my Hannah girls) who were praying for me and our baby during those two weeks. I believe the Lord heard their prayers. Yesterday we had our first ultrasound. In the morning I woke up filled with dread, where was the hope I should have had? Where was God’s peace? I prayed…

“…I believe; help my unbelief!” – Mark 9:24b

I was literally shaking on the ultrasound table. Within moments, our precious baby was on the screen, wiggling away with a HEARTBEAT. A few moments later we heard that heartbeat for ourselves. That was the moment, for me. The moment I let go of fear and clung to hope. The moment I realized that the Lord really did bless us with not only a pregnancy, but a real live baby. Every emotion I felt dropped silently down my face in humble, grateful tears.

Friends, I am 8 weeks and 1 day today. Our baby has a
large
head, body, arms, legs, and a beautiful beating heart. I was very wary of posting here or facebook or anywhere else announcing our news, however, I have since learned of the absolute amazingness of the body of Christ. And, how loved Eric and I and our baby already are. I come here now, asking you to cover us in prayer. We are not naive, we know there is still a chance that we might not see this baby this side of heaven. We also know that we serve a big and mighty God.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17

I have much more to share, but in order to use my words carefully and bring the most glory to God, I must split the next few posts up. The multiplicity of emotions is just overwhelming right now.

Be back soon, God bless.