let’s talk accountability

Doesn’t that sound like the most fun topic EVER?

I didn’t think so. But recently I have been thinking about it a lot. A lot of times we make the mistake of having the “it’s just me and Jesus” mentality. Well, to be blunt, it’s not. Check out 1 Corinthians 12:12-31. It’s all about the body of Christ. As in, we are called to do life together.

That doesn’t just mean we go hang out at Starbucks together, sip pumpkin spice lattes (hello, delicious btw) and talk about what we are wearing to church on Sunday. I can say that because I have done just that. And you know what? That’s not accountability.

Accountability is hard. It’s not always fun. It requires a level of trust that we are not very willing to give out most of the time, especially if we have been burned before. I am going to go ahead and get personal with you. Ya know, cuz it’s my blog and I’ll blog if I want to. (I know, I shouldn’t making jokes about something serious but please, someone name that tune!) Here goes.

I don’t hesitate to have an accountability partner (or two) because I have been hurt in the past. I don’t hesitate because I’m not a talker. I don’t hesitate because it doesn’t come naturally.

I hesitate because I don’t want to be a burden on someone else. I know that once I bare my soul to someone other than God, I am exposed. I’m vulnerable. Every fiber of my being would wait in scary anticipation of the first words out of said partners mouth. I think we all have that one thing, the one that plagues us over and over. The one we tell God “I’m giving this to you!” only to take it right back again the next day. And if we have an accountability partner, they are going to see just how many times you have to confess that struggle.

Will they judge me?
Will they discount my pain?
Will they give me Godly advice, even if they have never been in my shoes?

Now, you and I probably don’t struggle with the same thing. We may not even agree on the reason why we hold back from a deeper relationship with people. As Christians, however, we have to agree on this: Accountability is a necessary and important step in growing a deeper relationship with the Lord.

I want you to know that God has blessed me with an incredible husband, and I tell him almost everything. He is my best friend. However, I can not go to my husband every single time I need to unload. It would crush him. And he can’t do that to me either. We need other people in our lives that we can be blatantly honest with.

On that note, I have been blessed with amazing friends. Some of them have seen me at my absolute blackest – though I’m not sure if they realize this. Something tells me they do. My friends have not walked my road, nor I theirs. Our weaknesses are so very different, but you know what we have in common?

We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

We love each other with a real, genuine love that stems from our individual relationships with Jesus. Because I love my friends, I do not judge their heart. Because my friends love me, they do not judge mine.

My heart aches for those of you who may not have friendships/relationships like this. They are necessary and healing and encouraging and bonding and I could go on and on. Some of you may have had accountability backfire on you in a big way, and now you are scared to do it again. Let me encourage you, the Lord can heal that hurt. You may be shy and feel unable to open yourself up people personally, the Lord can give you boldness.

If you don’t put yourself out there, you will miss big things that God has for you, I can promise you that. It’s my prayer that you will.

Though we are ultimately accountable to God, I believe that accountability with people is biblical.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. – Ephesians 5:21