expectant mother

"There are those who say to us, "You're lucky...you didn't have morning sickness, stretch marks, and cravings," or "At least you only had to wait three months to get your baby, rather than nine months." If you are like me and are planning to or have adopted a baby, you know how comments like this can hurt.

I want to tell them, "I have had morning sickness and afternoon sickness and evening sickness. Every time I thought of the fact that my body cannot conceive or sustain a pregnancy, I am heartsick." And stretch marks? My hope and faith bear the marks of being stretched to places that can only be seen with the divine eye of God. I have been pulled, prodded, poked, and stretched far beyond what any human eye can see. My heart has felt each of those stretches or exercises of my faith while waiting for God to answer our prayers.

Then there are the cravings. We throw the word "craving" around a lot in our everyday conversations, but have you ever looked up the word? Merriam-Webster defines craving as: "an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing." I may not crave watermelon, ice cream, and pickles, but I have been struck by a craving - an intense, urgent desire - for a child for many years. It has been a longing so great that, at times, it is suffocating, leaving me teary, breathless, and in terrible emotional pain. People are correct: We haven't been waiting for nine months. It has been almost five years. I would take a nine-month waiting period over a five-year one anytime.

I am an expectant mother. I am not pregnant."

- Becky Saunders
taken from Stepping Stones newsletter