it's time you met

It is high time you meet three of the reasons I count myself blessed every day. Throughout our infertility struggle, these three precious little lives have allowed Eric and I to experience a love like no other. I really don't know what life would be like without them. I am humbled and honored to call two of them my God-children and beyond blessed to have them all call me Aunt Heather. Honestly I can't believe I have never "introduced" you before. Please meet...

My little sister's boy, Caleb. He will be 2 at the end of November! He is seriously one of the most gorgeous kids on the planet. He makes the best facial expressions (that may be a whole other post!) and he will eat you out of house and home. He calls me Edda and melts my heart. He gives big, slobbery, full-o-love kisses!

This is Lula Mae. She is (bear with me) Eric's cousin-but-more-like-his-sister Amy's oldest child. She will be 3 in May. She is absolutely stinkin' hilarious (click here for just a sneek peak at one of her antics that keeps us in stitches). She has a better vocabulary than me. I think she may have more scripture memorized than me as well. Truly, she is one of the biggest reasons I started to want kids. Oh and she is more than just a little obsessed with her Uncle Eric. No really, it's a sickness between them. Like if she had to choose between Mickey Mouse and Eric - no contest - Eric.

This is Jayce, Lula Mae's little brother. Hello??? Do you see those cheeks? I have the privilege of being able to eat them up every chance I get! Probably the most cuddly baby alive, I am trying to convince Jayce early that I am his favorite. Not Eric. Lula Mae has a monopoly on that one my dear. It's me you want. I promise I am way cooler. Ok maybe not, but I won't put you to bed with your bib still on... ;)

Well there you have it folks. These three make it possible for me to give out some of this love I have just stored up for kids and they allow my dear sweet inexperienced husband to get some much needed hands-on experience with "a day in the life of a baby."

LOVE THEM!

word verification

This is one of those totally-random-doesn't-connect-to-any-other-post, posts. (There go those dashes again). It's one of those things that you have probably thought about but I'm beating you to the punch by blogging it...not that it's really blog-worthy. (Do you do that? Judge thoughts/ideas by whether they are blog-worthy? Is that just me? Ok.)

You know those word verification thingies? The word in the box that you have to type out to leave a comment on most blogs? You know the ones on the comment section that keep people from mass spam attacks?

I. love. them.

Seriously! I think they are like a secret language. I like to try to pronounce them and I give them definitions and I try to work them into everyday language. If I notice a particularly interesting one while I am commenting you, I may share it with you as a little "ps" gift from me to you. Are you weirded out yet or intrigued?

That's what I thought!

So in honor of my infatuation (and the fact that this is my 200th post! woot!) with captchas (that's right, there is an actual definition for the word verifcation thingy) I am going to give you my favorite five with definition and how to use it in a sentence.

1. sponliker (spawn-like-er) - a small container used for storing small objects.
Sentence: I drop my keys in my sponliker by the door so I don't lose them.

2. fulatums (fool-ah-tums) - the little mascara particles that settle into the corners of your eye
Sentence: Even though I wash my face every night, I still wake up with fulatums!

3. phlephis (flehf-iss) - a state of phlephory, feeling out of sorts or boggled
Sentence: I have failed to get much work done today because I have felt very phlephis.

4. peredrin (pair-ah-drin) - a fruity drink made from the nectar of a goji berry blended with milk
Sentence: I'll have the ahi tuna with asparagus and wild rice with a peredrin to drink.

5. unfoquacious (un-foe-quay-shus) - bitter, the inability to forgive and forget
Sentence: Heather is still very unfoquacious towards Amy since she posted those incriminating Savannah pictures.

So do you guys  have any captchas that pop into mind? What are your definitions?

endurance

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,

 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." - James 1:2-3

do a happy dance...

...because I'm back! I know I left you for 4 whole days with a pretty deep post. I am sorry about that. My mother-in-law and her three sisters and my cousin-in-laws (one who happens to be my friend Amy) all went to Savannah, GA for a long weekend get together. I can't post pictures as of yet because I may or may not have forgotten my camera. And my contact solution. I'll post pics later when I steal them from her (because I need to delete an impromptu photo shoot on her camera anyway...)

To sum up our trip:

coffee + laughing + shopping + walking + desserts + food + no boys = weekend in Savannah with seven women!

I'll be back to my regularly scheduled posting asap ;)

PS - I didn't suddenly become uber-popular on my last post. I joined ICLW, which is on my sidebar, you should check it out!

myths

Below is an adapted list from Resolve about the myths of infertilty. I worry about posting this because I don't want to hurt your feelings if you are guilty of ever saying these things. Heck, I probably said some of them before our infertility journey started. How will you know if some doesn't educate you? Please, never say these things to someone struggling with trying to conceive.Whether it has been 1 year or 8, words that are meant to help only come across as hurt.

- Infertility is a women's problem.
- Must be something in the water!
- It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!
- Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.
- If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!
- Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
- Maybe you two are doing something wrong!
- Are you afraid your partner might leave you because of your infertility?
- Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!
- Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

The worst statement to me personally, however, is this: Oh I understand exactly what you are feeling. *Insert ludicrous story about waiting 4 months to get pregnant here.*

Please please please if you are not infertile, never ever tell an infertile you understand. You don't. You may have had major loss in your life, but until you have walked a mile (or 20) in our shoes, you have no idea what it feels like. And honestly, we could all write a book just trying to put into words that which cannot be put into words. I am not trying to discount anyone else's pain. I am simply saying that infertility, in all it's various shapes and sizes, is a pain all it's own.


Although infertility is never truly gone from someone there are three ways people move on in their life.


1. They do get pregnant.
2. They adopt.
3. They live child free.

The infertility road is unique to each couple; do not assume you know what is best for them. That is best left up to the only One who knows the plan for their life.

I hope you feel more educated and not offended by this post. My friend Grace posted a while ago on this topic, and she may have a little more tact in explaining that me.

lead me

I mentioned earlier that I think the Christian church is seriously lacking in strong male leaders, particularly in the husband department. Below is a song by Sanctus Real singing about just that. The other video is the story about the song. Couples are going to go through hard times, it's how we deal with our problems in marriage that either makes a marriage flourish or fail. Husbands are called to be the head of the home spiritually.

"Yet your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." - Genesis 3:16b

"When it says, 'Your desire shall be for your husband,' it means that when sin has the upper hand in woman she will desire to overpower or subdue or exploit man. And when sin has the upper hand in man he will respond in like manner and with his strength subdue her, or rule over her." - John Piper (Manhood and Womanhood: Confusion After the Fall)

I don't think it could be more clearly spelled out for us than in Ephesians...

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Ephesians 5:25-33

 Men, this is big calling, and I don't envy you at all for this. Which is why I am a woman ;)



The story behind the song (the full story here, but I can't embed it):

weheardweheardweheard

In case you didn't get that: WE HEARD!

From our social worker that is! My last adoption post was kind of a downer, so I am super excited that this one is way more positive.

So Melyssa, our social worker, finally called me back today. I called her a week and a half ago. She had been in court and then on a leave of absence so that is why she didn't call back in her usual fashion. (I have never waited more than 2 days to hear from her.) She apologized for the wait and was very very sweet. I voiced my concern over calling her too much and she said it was "not a problem, please feel free to contact me by phone or email as much as you would like."

"She clearly doesn't know me well...oh but she will" I thought as I scribbled down her email. (Ways to contact Melyssa count is now up to 3.)

I asked her when we could expect a tentative time for our homestudy and she said she really couldn't give me any kind of timeline. That was a little disappointing, but I do understand. I would much rather not know than to have her guess and be way off base. She did say there was nothing wrong with our paperwork so far and everything looks great. Praise God! Also, the homestudy will be first, and then the fire and DHEC inspections. (Click here to find out about those.)

So long story short Melyssa and I are best buds (well maybe not yet, but soon, I can feel it) and we are on a first name basis. I have the green light to contact my little heart out and our paperwork is just dandy so far.

Today is a good day.

"Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created."- Revelation 4:11

this looks good

I found this trailer today. This looks like it could be worthwhile! I love the sudden influx of Christian movies in the last couple years. It is so hard to find things that are God-honoring in today's world.

wordle

Click below on the image to view my wordle. It's what I got when I entered my blog url. I think it is a fairly good representation of me, what do you think?

shades of brown

"There is no such thing as race. There is no black or white, we are all just different shades of brown; we are all one race." - David Harrell (my Pastor)

"and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us." - Acts 17:26-27

courageous

Below is a trailer for Sherwood's next movie. I am excited for another Christian film to be hitting the big screens, but I have some mixed emotions. This movie is all about what God calls a father to be. I think the modern church is seriously lacking in men being the spiritual leaders of their households and I am beyond excited that Sherwood is addressing this issue head on.

However, my husband, who is one of the Godliest men I know, is not yet a father. He will be, God has promised us that, but it may or may not be by the time this movie comes out. Regardless, we will see this movie and we will suggest it to our non-Christian friends as well. I'm sure the message in this movie will be applicable to many different walks of life.

Eric, you will be an amazing, Godly, and loving father one day. God designed you to be a dad. It is woven into every fiber of your being.

command his angels

"For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone." - Psalm 91:11-12

triple digits

I would just like you all to know that yesterday, October 12, 2010, my little blog got 100 visits!

That's right, one hundred unique visitors all came to my blog in one day. This is chump change for some of the blogs I read, but for me this is EXCITING!

So now that I am in the triple digits club I have a question:

Where are all of you? It's ok if you don't follow me or comment all the time. But once in a while it would be nice if one of my stalkers lurkers shy readers would come out of their shell!

Come out come out wherever you are!!!

you can have me

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams

Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering

I will love You enough to let go
Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
My Father, my love
You can have me

memorial box monday - wedding photography

It's time to link up with Linny for another...

click here to learn more about mbm

When Eric and I were planning our wedding, we were flat broke. We are talking I-am-still-a-college-student-he-just-graduated-five-days-ago broke. My dad generously gave us a lump sum of money for the wedding. However, we could not just spend it on the wedding, there was no way. We had to think frugally. We also needed to stretch that money for a honeymoon and a down payment on a house in the near future. Oh, and did I mention Eric didn't have a full-time job? That's right. I agreed to marry this man, for him to take care of me, without even the slightest prospect of a full-time job. (This is another mbm, I'm getting off track...)

Anyway, we I was trying to plan our wedding and I was trying to prioritize. What was most important? The memories. How did you remember? Through pictures. So I decided, photography was going to be a big part of my budget. Well I started researching photographers and realized that I had champagne taste on a draft beer budget. Wow! What I wanted, my wedding story told in pictures, seemed way out of reach.

Stress started settling in. (Stress and I got to be pretty good friends over those short 6 months of engagement.) I scoured the internet for hours trying to find someone, anyone who could do what I wanted, do it well, and do it cheap.

Then God moved. He brought me to a website of a photographer who had previously only done nature shots, and had ONE wedding under his belt. But, as I read his profile my heart knew. He was a Christian. His entire vision of what a wedding should look like was biblically based. He had scripture captioned under each and every picture. And...

HE WAS GOOD!

Like really good. I held my breath as I clicked on "pricing." And then I rubbed my eyes. Squinted. Called Eric over to see if he saw what I saw.

DIAMOND PACKAGE
- All day coverage (no time contraints)
- bridal portaits
- all photos on cd and in a custom album
- doubles of all photos
- 10 5x7s, 10 8x10s, 3 16x24s, customized wedding book
price: $1200

Less than what I had budgeted.

The most amazing part of this story is that not only did I get my dream photos, but our photographer raised his prices just a mere 6 months later to over $4000 for a package that included half of what I got! He was good, and people were noticing.

Praising God today for allowing me to have sweet memories like these:

sleeping beauty flower girl

my handsome fiance' and almost father-in-law

my crazy bridesmaids, flower girl and attendees

my beautiful bridesmaids and their flowers

dancing with my daddy to Elvis

me and my honey toasting the night away

So all of these pictures go in my (virtual) memorial box to remind me of God's provision on the happiest day of my life!

By the way, my friend Amy was getting married not quite a year after us and my photographer was so good she wanted to use him as well. He had already raised his prices outside her budget as well, but because I was drumming up business for him like crazy, he gave her a huge discount as well.

How cool is our God to supply us exactly what we want and need on our most special days!

...and i'll get back to you

That's the end of the message I hear every time I call my social worker.

It's been one month since we have turned in our paperwork and we have had no contact with DSS. I called today and, you guessed it, left a message. I am trying to find a balance between "bugging the crap out of my social worker" and "letting her know our persistence is a good quality." But...

I

am

so 

anxious.

I just want to move on and get the homestudy and inspections done already! I want my precious child(ren) into my home and out of harm's way. We were so hoping to become a waiting family by Christmas and that dream seems to be fading fast.

Sorry for the downer post, but you guys know you are my ventlet (That's a new word I made up: vent + outlet = ventlet. You like? Feel free to steal it, I don't have the $ to copyright.)

"But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

PS - click here if you want to see some of the beautiful faces that are in the system right now. Please take some time to pray for the precious miracles of God and their forever home. 

manure

"Christians are like manure. Heap them all together and they smell, a lot. Spread them out and they become fertilizer!"

- Rick Warren (via my pastor David Harrell)

dear fall

Dear Fall,

I like you. I really really do. That is why I would really like for you to sign what us teachers like to call a "Contract for Success." Think of it like a little prenup between you and I, if you want our long standing relationship to last.

CONTRACT FOR SUCCESS:

During the months of October through Mid-December, Fall agrees to:
- allow the leaves to change colors
- crisp up the air
- enable weather for boots/leggings/sweaters
- have stores sell
          - spiced apple candles
          - hot chocolate (especially the salted caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks...mmmm)
          - pumpkin flavored things

However, I would formally like to lodge a few complaints about this year, since our contract will be post-dated.. Namely: The leaves are changing entirely too fast, we need some color variation here. Green to brown isn't cutting it.I said crisp, not frigid air. Seeing my breath in the morning is not acceptable in October, thank you very much. Also, this whole freezing-in-the-morning-blazin-hot-in-the-afternoon thing is really starting to do a number on my laundry. The laundry I already despise doing, so cut that out too.

Failure to adhere to said regulations will result in the termination of your position. IE: Summer will go directly into Winter, bypassing the need for Fall altogether. You understand, don't you?

Fall's Signature:____________________

Heather's Signature:

he is LORD

"'Tis at the cross of Christ
Where earth and heaven meet
Where sin is overcome
To God the victory"

I always think that there is Earth, then a million miles away there is Heaven. They are two separate and distinct places. One I live in now, the other I will live in forever. But they aren't as distinct as my mind makes them out to be. 

They meet.

They come together.

They fuse. 

The gap is bridged. 

It all happens at the cross. The cross of Jesus Christ is the only reason that one day I will walk from darkness into eternal light (Acts 26:18). It's the only way I will enter the gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise (Psalm 100:4). It's the only way I can enter the small gate at the end of the narrow road (Matthew 7:14).

He is the only way. 

Heaven and Earth, they meet. They are closely linked. You can almost reach out and touch Heaven. It's like we (Earth) are on the outside looking in (Heaven). We can see it, we know what is there, what waits for us. The only thing separating us from it is window/door, and all we have to do it knock and the door will be opened (Matthew 7:7). We will be changed from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18)!

"Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:6

great grub 29

Let's shift gears a little bit and go with a good old American (Italian) classic, shall we? I love pasta, pasta does not love me however. As an insulin resistance girl I am supposed to cut waaaay back on all things sugar and carb. I did a great job of avoiding those things back when I did this. However, sometimes a girl just needs some pasta, am I right? So here is a family favorite in our house (not to mention it makes a ton and freezes well!)

Lasagna

Ingredients:

- 1 box lasagna noodles
- 3 jars of your favorite sauce
- 2 eggs
- 1 container ricotta cheese
- 1 cup parmesean cheese
- 4 cups mozzarella
- 1 lb. ground meat (beef, chicken, turkey...)
- any veggies you want (carrots, zucchini, spinach...)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Boil lasagna noodles according to package directions and allow to cool being careful to separate them so they don't stick to each other. Beat together the eggs and parmesean cheese. Brown the meat and drain. Cook any veggies you like and puree in your food processor. Add to your jarred sauce. (Yes you overacheivers can use homemade sauce, the rest of us will take the easy way out by adding yummy veggies without our husbands ever knowing they are there!)
Mix the meat, sauce, veggies together. In an 11x14 inch casserole spread a little of the sauce mixture on the bottom. Put one layer of noodles on top. Top that with half of the ricotta/egg mixture and add 1/3 of mozzarella. Ladle 1/3 of the sauce mixture on that. Repeat until you are out of noodles. Your last layer should be the remaining mozzarella.
Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for 15 more. Let it stand for at least 15 minutes.
Mmmmmmmmmm, pasta.

Enjoy!

little flock

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has chosen gladly to give you the kingdom." - Luke 12:32